Maybe I’m not supposed to be sleeping.

It’s 3 am on September 11, 2009. I’ve been awake since 12:58 am, when Jens whined in his sleep. I checked on him and tucked him back into his blanket. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t get comfortable. I changed into my pajamas. I tried stretching out into different sleeping positions, breathing deeply through my nose and flipping my pillow over to the cooler side. Hans stretched, then rolled closer and breathed peacefully into my face.

When I logged into my computer the welcome music played louder than I expected. Guess I left the volume up from yesterday when I was listening to music while getting ready to go to puppets practice. I read updates on twitter, made my own, paid some bills and searched for an online coupon for Sacino’s. No luck. Does anyone have an entertainment book? Maybe I will just purchase one at Jens’ school today.
In thinking about this, I decided to pack Jens’ lunch. I logged off the computer and went to the kitchen.

The stove was still spattered with grape seed oil, Mediterranean spices and panko from last night when I made tilapia. Dirty dishes were untouched. It had been my night to do dishes while Hans bathed, read books to and put Jens to bed. Exhausted (note: a glass and a half of chardonnay with dinner), after dinner I passed out in bed while still wearing my yoga clothes.

But now I’m awake and typing. I finished the dishes, made Jens’ lunch and made a To Do list for Friday. There is a hurting tightness in my back, left shoulder area. My back isn’t keeping me awake. I’m just awake. I think the tightness will eventually go away. It comes and goes.

I’ve been meaning to start this blog for too long. Of course I’m rereading it as I type and wondering if this is really how I’m going to start my blog. Yes, it is.

It’s ok that I’m awake. I think some thoughts and details are keeping me awake. It’s not a drowsy, scatterbrained kind of awake. It’s a refreshed, inspired kind of awake. There’s a lot to do and tomorrow is never guaranteed.